Rant! (I Just HAD to get it Off My Chest)

I feel like ranting today, so rant I shall. On Tuesday mornings we usually go out, but I did not feeling like dealing with the crowd. Crowds give me anxiety, but "groups of mom" crowds completely overwhelm me. It,s a problem I willingly deal with most Tuesdays, because the boys get to leave the house and play with kids around their age. They need and love the socialization. But this week, I decided to skip it. A friend of mine and her son ended up popping by, so they didn't miss it too much. 

Is it just me or does anyone else have a hard time dealing with mom-crowds?  You'd think we'd have so much in common, and it would be so easy to get along. But instead it's similar to being under a microscope.  If your kid acts out, gets hurt, or draws attention to himself in any way all eyes are on you. And the looks: they range from judgment to sympathy. It's awful; I could do without either. I'm also 100% certain that they think I have a glandular problem, it will be 27F and I'll be sweating profusely the minute I step in the door. It's so much pressure, for no valid reason.   

Worse than the looks, is the conversation. It is SO painful. I can deal with small talk, I like small talk. I can ask about your top or compliment your child's cuteness, we can complain about the weather. I can't stand the mom conversations; you know, the ones with cute suggestions and snide remarks about parenting decisions? And they aren't like helpful, possible life saving tips like telling me they aren't buckled in properly or advising me not to feed a 2 month old a chicken finger. They aren't fun tips to help stop runny noses or to get them to keep socks on their feet. No, its completely useless, unnecessary judgment...

"People won't mistake him for a girl if you cut his hair.  I have a hair dresser I use for little Liam, and she works wonders. You won't even recognize your little guy!" Like why wouldn't I want to recognize my son? Also, people don't mistake him for a girl after I tell them he's a boy.  I can just correct them and move on.

"If you suggest something else for the little guy to do, instead of telling him to stop, he'll be more likely to behave. It's called redirection." I know what it's called. But saying "No, son! Stop! We dont hit!" works fine, too.
"I wish I were a mom like you. You just wear anything." Why, yes. Yes, I do. I have lost 3 mascaras, 2 eyeliners, and a foundation.  And I hold on to my one dark purple eyeliner for special occasions.  Full face is not even an option, at this point.  Not to mention, stretchy pants are life.
"Do you run a baby sitting service?" No, these are my kids. "But you're too young. You're far too young to have kids, let alone so many. Is the father around; do they even have the same father? You poor thing." How rude, judgemental, straight-forward, and nasty can you be in one statement?
"You know, if you pierce her ears, no one will mistake her for a boy." Because the big flamboyant headbands aren't a sure sign.
"There's no such thing as a baby that's just fussy. That's just an excuse." You're right, she probably yelling, because she wants you to get away from us. I think she senses your negative energy.

These are paraphrased quotes, from (obviously) better moms than me.  And I just did not feel like having clever(ish) rebuttals and escape routes prepared. Instead, we played with stickers, puzzles, and our friends today. We all remained in a good mood, and I don't think the boys missed our outting. 

Why can't moms just bond over dinner recipes, gently used clothing, and a hate for Caillou, like they do on television?